They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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