You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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