He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
