Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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