The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
