What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
