It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i believe in u and ur pee
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
