alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
