Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
