she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
