i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
