my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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