Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
