you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize