she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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