i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize