Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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