Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
