I met the friendliest cop last night
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
