I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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