zippers are such a cool invention
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Come on in and take your pants off
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