You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
there is puke in my bra ... again
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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