the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
