I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
