what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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