hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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