Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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