I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
