you guys were way drunker than both of me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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