whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
