Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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