well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
