i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
