part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
