So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
