How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
