i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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