hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
