I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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