How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
