the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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