We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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