i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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