We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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