WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
