I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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