We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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