Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
