Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i barfeds in our rink
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
