actually, I'm a sock model
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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