I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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