Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
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I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
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I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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