So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
