mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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