how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
