i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
